Archive.The Future.Sign.Diaryland
2002-03-26
Look Into My Eyes And You Will See
In which Lauren decides to have a conversation with herself while looking in the mirror.
Hello, do I know you? You look rather familiar.
...
Yes, I'm sure I do. You're me. At least, you look more like me than any other person that I might know. I believe you are me, but there's something strange about you. Something not right.
...
No, not right at all. You look a little lonely. I get the impression that you feel distressed on top of that. You look sick too. Are you well?
...
Hello? Why can't you answer me? If you are me then shouldn't you be talking? I like talking, don't you?
...
What is that matter with you?! Why won't you answer?! Hello?! Hello! You look so distraught, I want to help you! Let me, please! You just need to say something! Anything at all!
...
My reflection. You are me. This is what I am. You feel cold. Brrr, did mom turn up the air conditioner? You look lonely. I'm home alone. You seem sad. My thoughts are drifting away. You look familiar, yet you don't at the same time. My world is changing around me.
Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
I haven't done anything all day. My stomach rumbles, yet I don't know what it is I'm going to eat. Tomorrow is the first seder and after that... No more bread.
It wasn't until I had the opportunity to hear Kj and her boyfriend sucking each other's faces off during the 20th anniversary of E.T, that I realized how much I missed someone. How much I missed the time when somebody liked me, not loved necesarily, but luved. I know it isn't important and I know I shouldn't really care, but I do. I really, truly do and I can't stop. It's like opening a fresh can of Pringles chips. Once you pop, you can't stop! Once I had that first taste of romance, it was like a whole new doorway. Things look so much different from that side. They're softer, fluffier, like that cloud. The only problem comes when that cloud begins to turn grey and then starts to produce rain and snow. Things turn ugly as the weather. People get hurt, yet they still crave for the bit of emotion. I suppose it's that emotion, as complicated as it is, it's that emotion called love that singles us humans out from the rest of the creatures. I know, that sounds very cheesy, but from this side of the river, it's very true.
Happy Pesach.
Previous Next