Archive.The Future.Sign.Diaryland

2002-01-22

Then The Morning Comes

After being called back for my 'voice', the cast list for Guys and Dolls went up today. Guess who I am? Some character who isn't the lead, but isn't part of the chorus who doesn't sing except for chorus songs and who is in reality supposed to be a big burly man. Wow, how incredibly annoying. I guess my singing voice is either too girlish of I really cannot act well. That is frustrating. My height always seems to be the key factor in bringing me down instead of up! Every single time! I'm always the dinky, small, male characters. Smee for godsakes! SMEE, the small fat man who is second to Captain Hook! I'm beginning to tire of these small (both in size and height of actual character and significance in production) roles! Am I really that bad?!

I suppose I really shouldn't complain. I mean, I did get a supporting character role, even thought Big Jule or whomever doesn't sing on his own. Maybe it'll turn out perfectly fine and then next year I'll nail a good character. I hope next year is also a musical. That would be appreciated.

At times I wonder why I even bother being nice to certain people. I wonder why I give in to their cravings of my lunch or other such things. The petty small things, like borrowing a pencil too. I know that may be a stupid thing to wonder about, but still. If you aren't going to bother talking to me or striking up a nice conversation without ending with a request for a piece of my pizza or my eraser, why do you even think to approach me. Because you know that I will lend you the eraser and possibly to most definately give you a bit of pizza. Why? Because I'm nice. Although you obviously don't care to speak with me just to ask me how I am in the morning or greet me at my locker. Nope, you just head straight for the goods. I wish you would all just stop using me for my things and actually take the time to know me as a person. It might help you one day when your worst ennemy decides to sue you for property destruction and hire me as their lawyer! Ha!

She can just imagine her first call. Her mother would call her from downstairs and she would bound, two stairs at a time, down the flight. She would slip, and then fall, where she would burst into hysterical laughter. Her mother would hand her the phone and she would relay what had just happened through fits and fits of giggles. They would catch up on everything. From the weather, to school, to boys. It would all come flowing out of their mouths like a bottle of wine being uncorked and drunk down by and alcaholic. She revelled in the imagery of this vivid dreamlike scenario. Until she plummeted back to Earth with the realization that she would not be joining the other on this coming-of-age journey. The wine bottle was soon empty as the dream faded into the bright lights of the classroom where the reverie began. Of course, the future must be changed some how.

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